Sunday, March 27, 2011

Parting in Love


Feel the music. Shall we? The light tune playing in the background while we sit beside each other. Neither holding hands, nor speaking to each other. Just sitting.

I feel like cutting off my legs. So that you will weep and kiss. No, not the hands. They should be there to comfort you, and make you feel I will be there. Without legs. Weird thought, isn’t it? I know it is weird but what can I do; I just go weird with weird thoughts thinking about us in a weird way sitting beside you. I love you.

From where have you come? Which city will you go? I think this, and a lot more, astonished. A face so moon like. Hairs so night like. I feel dizzy. You are so mesmerizing. I want to spend my death with you. I don’t want to spend my life with you and then die someplace else. I want to die in front of you. Close my eyes with my last sight being your eyes.

Why am I crying? I don’t want to cry. What will they think. I am crying because I am with you? This is true but what is not true is their interpretation. Yes, you make me cry. Yes, I would have been laughing had I not been here. You are so pathetic. My heart is crying its heart out. I feel like cutting my right hand too in which, once I had held a bunch of green grass, kneeling down, and had asked you to accept me. There were no flowers in the vicinity. Not my fault. Flowers. Why are girls attracted to flowers? They are the most repulsive things on earth. Especially that red thorny foul smelling piece of shit which feels as if various thin layers of the internal part of someone’s cheek has been peeled off, colored red with blood and bunched together. I like your cheeks. They are so smooth and kissable. I have never kissed on lips. Lips of Angelina Jolie. Haah. Angelina Jolie was out there to kill people, and her husband. Mr. Smith. Mr. Smith, a very Jewish one, planned to kill Hitler. Nazis. They made so many people cry. They burnt them. Cut them. I feel like cutting my left hand. Or is it right? Whatever. I regret the day I proposed you. Had that not occurred, I would not have loved you to the extent I do now. And I would have been smiling. I say smiling and not happy. Because.. you know what, you cutie-beauty, you little fluffy chocolate-pie, you moon-baby.. that I cannot ever again in my life time or till endless eternity be ever as happy as you make me. Chorus had once blathered, no man can be called happy until he dies happily. But I contradict them. I am happy, you sophoclical oedipal morons! And even if I cut all my body parts. And die. I will be called happy because in my lifetime, I got loved by this piece of moon. And, its so terrible but yes, loved her too.

We are parting baby. I cannot bear this. Please speak something. I know all the fear-of-suffering-is-worse-than-the-suffering-itself stuff, but I suffer now. I don’t know if I’ll suffer in the future but I suffer now. Please, let’s never part. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. I will give you all my hands and legs and hats and books. But don’t go away sweetheart. We’ll meet. Right? Will we meet again baby? Haan? Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Please speak something. Something. Something. Please.

‘I Love You. Be there for me always.’

She said. Guys she said something. Please speak again. Once again please let the stream of musical words flow out of the shining glacier of that hell-of-a face. I can die thousand times to hear that, whatever you said.

‘Let’s Go. You will miss your rickety bus.’

Oh. “Let’s Go!”